係理解呢首歌黎講,唔係戴頭盔,其實我覺我一定會理解錯佢嘅意思,係我正式搵到英文歌詞,以及我對lizzy 真係片面嘅認識,第一身俾我嘅感覺全首歌都係佢嘅自白。
一如以往,蒼涼感,孤寂感,低落感呢D氣氛係Lana 最強嘅演繹。
因為我個人覺得有小小自白詩,所以用返書面語去譯
[Verse 1]
I was reading Slim Aarons and I got to thinking that I thought
我讀著社會名流雜誌,我的心其實想著
Maybe I’d get less stressed if I was tested less like
如果我能經歷少些難關,或許我會倍感輕鬆 All of these debutantes
就好似初出社會的高貴少女
Smiling for miles in pink dresses and high heels on white yachts
在白色遊艇上穿上粉紅洋裝以及高跟鞋歡笑
But I’m not, baby, I’m not
但我並非那種人
No, I’m not, that, I’m not
但我並非那種人
係《This Is What Makes Us Girls》 《VIDEO GAME》《RIDE》都睇到LDR 嘅經歷,特別是佢酗酒個段歷史,以及初出道做酒吧歌手,以及俾唱片公司經理人包養嘅故事,難免會覺我以上嘅故仔係講緊佢自己。佢不論對傳媒定係對樂迷都抱著我行我素態度,唔鐘意俾人拍片影住,對住鏡頭會講fuck,屌柒FANS,會發FANS脾氣紅字句段其實同佢真實生活嘅態度有所共嗚,佢真係唔係個種理想女孩嘅人。
[Chorus 1]
I’ve been tearing around in my fucking nightgown
我曾經穿著睡衣到處遊蕩
24/7 Sylvia Plath
希薇亞·普拉斯 不才譯唔到24/7
Writing in blood on the walls
用血在牆上寫字
‘Cause the ink in my pen don’t work in my notepad
只因為我的墨水筆在筆記本上不管用
Don’t ask if I’m happy, you know that I’m not
你明知我不快樂,就別再多問我為何
But at best, I can say I’m not sad
我最好的只能說我不難過
‘Cause hope is a dangerous thing for a woman like me to have
因為希望對我這種女人來說實在太危險了
Hope is a dangerous thing for a woman like me to have
因為希望對我這種女人來說實在太危險了
I’ve been tearing around in my fucking nightgown其實呢句我個人認為以下嘅事情係佢自己係深夜就寢前嘅胡思亂想,除左因為瞓唔著會亂諗野之外,notepad個段個人認為係想以日記方式記錄自己嘅難過,但筆墨都無辦法抒發情緒所以先用血在牆上寫字(我自己覺得係想誇大自己想有自殘傾向)Cause hope is a dangerous thing for a woman like me to have 我嘅理解係第一時間聯想到經典對白Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things and no good thing ever dies.
同埋Let me tell you something my friend. Hope is a dangerous thing. Hope can drive a man insane. 但到底歌入面所講嘅hope 係咩?
[Verse 2]
I had fifteen-year dances
我十五歲時常去跳舞
Church basement romances, yeah, I’ve cried
在教堂地下室裡談過戀愛,我也曾因戀愛痛哭
Spilling my guts with the Bowery Bums
我曾對露宿醉漢吐露真心
Is the only love I’ve ever known
那是我唯一感受到愛的時刻
Except for the stage, which I also call home, when I’m not
除了舞台,我還稱它作家,雖然它不是
Servin’ up God in a burnt coffee pot for the triad
我為神送上熱燙的咖啡
Hello, it’s the most famous woman you know on the iPad
這是在IPAD 出現的有名女人
Calling from beyond the grave, I just wanna say, “Hi, Dad”
而我在人間打通電話給我父親,而我只想向他問好
[Chorus 2]
I’ve been tearing up town in my fucking white gown
我曾穿著他媽的白衣到處遊蕩
Like a goddamn near sociopath
像個該死的反社會份子一樣
Shaking my ass is the only thing that’s
跳舞是我唯一的方法
Got this black narcissist off my back
去擊敗自己黑暗而又自我中心的一面
She couldn’t care less, and I never cared more
那時候的我什麼都不在意,但真正的我卻事事都上在心上
So there’s no more to say about that
所以已經沒有什麼好說的了
Except hope is a dangerous thing for a woman like me to have
只能說希望對我這種女人來說實在太危險了
Hope is a dangerous thing for a woman with my past
抱有希望對我這種有經歷的女實在太危險了
[Bridge]
There’s a new revolution, a loud evolution that I saw
新的革命來臨,我見證著激烈的改變
Born of confusion and quiet collusion of which mostly I’ve known
混亂與陰謀的誕生是我見証得最多的事
A modern day woman with a weak constitution, ’cause I’ve got
一個弱勢的現代女性,但卻得對抗我的心魔
Monsters still under my bed that I could never fight off
我無法打敗的怪獸仍然在我的床下
A gatekeeper carelessly dropping the keys on my nights off
我的心靈之門守門者總是不小心在夜遺留他的鎖匙
[Chorus 3]
I’ve been tearing around in my fucking nightgown
我曾經穿著睡衣到處遊蕩
24/7 Sylvia Plath
我像希薇亞·普拉斯一樣
Writing in blood on your walls
用血在你的牆上寫字
‘Cause the ink in my pen don’t look good in my pad
因為我的筆在筆記本上寫得不夠好看
They write that I’m happy, they know that I’m not
他們寫下我很快樂但他們根本知我不是
But at best, you can see I’m not sad
但幸好,你只能看到我不悲傷一面
But hope is a dangerous thing for a woman like me to have
可以對我這樣的女人來說,抱有希望太過危險了
Hope is a dangerous thing for a woman like me to have
希望對我這種女人來說實在太危險了
姬絲坦奴(登機)
2019-2-3 22:15:44
由Bridge 到第3段副歌主要都仍然係講述LANA 佢陰暗嘅內心,佢一直俾人感覺都係一個好活在50 60年代嘅人,但可惜係呢個時代同社會,佢見証得太多虛假嘅人(可能講述佢同LADY GAGA 友誼破裂或者好多LEAK 出作品嘅事件) 佢只能做出無聲嘅吶喊,而佢想講佢床下的怪獸我諗應該係講述唱片經理人。正正係因為當時嘅佢認為音樂道路係同呢位男人嘅關係會變得更好,所以希望對佢黎講真係太危險。佢青年時都清楚,男人都只係貪圖同佢一時嘅歡愉。
[Outro]
Hope is a dangerous thing for a woman like me to have
希望確實是一樣很危險的東西,特別是在我這種女人身上擁有
But I have it
但我仍抱有希望
Yeah, I have it
無錯我抱有希望
Yeah, I have it
無錯我抱有希望
I have
我抱有希望
去到最尾佢仍然對自己抱有希望,並唔係因為佢信相自己嘅能力,而係佢經歷左咁多野,呢D真係對佢黎講唔算什麼難關。
係歌入面出現左Sylvia Plath 好多次,輕輕維基一下我諗LANA 係想映射自己為Sylvia Plath 因為作為天才女詩人嘅Sylvia Plath係自白詩嘅推動者。而我覺得呢首歌內容同the bell jar 有D關鏈,LANA 以自己映射為the bell jar女主角書中主角,聰慧、有抱負的史密斯學院學生艾瑟·葛林伍德,便是Sylvia Plath的化身,後於紐約時尚雜誌實習期間,展開了一段精神崩潰的歷程,正如同普拉斯在《Mademoiselle》雜誌工作時,經歷心理掙扎、自殺未遂的過程。了解左呢到我能夠理解,應該當時LANA 內心理上掙扎佢自己到底要想成為一個咩嘅女人,以及對未來嘅憧憬所產生嘅矛盾,使到佢經常收埋自己悲傷一面。而係Dark Paradise 更加睇到佢軟弱嘅一面,其實會唔會正正經歷太多佢唔想經歷嘅野,先引致佢呢種被愛嘅性格? 而係ultraviolence 大碟入面有隻MV 更係同一位50幾歲嘅紋身師一齊拍,而當中佢更同紋身師有過一段情(懶得搵資料來源可能錯) 係呢段故仔入面更加睇到佢戀父嘅性格。
套落現實世界,面對現實有時真係好難,有時一絲嘅希望能夠使人繼續堅持落去,但有時堅持做一樣錯嘅野又係唔係岩? 難怪佢歌中講到,希望佢對黎講確實係危險,當時嘅佢係一無所有,到底放棄定係堅持,佢已經分唔到邊個先適合佢。
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